For $1M, you possibly can pay Bryan Johnson (or BryanAI?) to show you the way to reside longer

It’s the center of February, and the air is dry. There are high quality traces rising on my brow, perhaps as a result of I don’t moisturize sufficient, however perhaps as a harbinger of one thing better: Every day I develop nearer to my very own dying. Quickly, I will likely be 30. I’ll by no means be youthful than I’m proper now.

Fintech-founder-turned-longevity-guru Bryan Johnson has a proposal that has caught my consideration. For the low, low worth of $1 million per yr, I pays him to point out me the ropes of the “precise protocol” he’s adopted for the final 5 years. He calls this system “Immortals.”

Sure, a man who has acquired botox injections in his genitals will educate me the way to supposedly reverse the method of growing older. Why shouldn’t I imagine that Bryan Johnson has uncovered the secrets and techniques to dwelling longer than another human? No, he has not but confirmed his capability to survive all different people. He was born in 1977, a yr by which many present people had been born.

However why would I doubt the judgment of a man who fortified his structure with blood from his teenage son? When have the tech elite ever misled us? Ought to I additionally query when Elon Musk says that saving for retirement is irrelevant as a result of AGI will create an financial abundance so nice that nobody will ever know poverty once more?

In line with Johnson’s submit on X, this unique service — solely three spots can be found! — will embody “a devoted concierge crew, BryanAI 24/7, in depth testing, tens of millions of organic information factors, steady monitoring, finest pores and skin and hair protocols, and entry to the most effective therapies on market.”

I can speak to the AI model of a man who livestreams himself doing shrooms for “science”? Signal me up!

Besides I can’t. As a result of I wouldn’t have $1 million. These like me must accept shopping for Johnson’s overpriced olive oil in our pursuit of immortality (it’s peppery and clean!).

My emergent brow wrinkle intensifies with the data that Johnson will doubtless have a straightforward time filling up these three $1 million spots. Among the many ultrawealthy, longevity has grow to be an more and more scorching pursuit.

John Hering, who has given Musk billions of {dollars} in backing, co-founded Biograph, which describes itself as a preventative well being and diagnostics clinic. Its most premium membership prices $15,000 a yr (subsequent to Johnson’s providing, it virtually looks as if a superb deal … virtually). An identical startup, Fountain Life, has raised $108 million to fund its “final longevity program,” which costs a $21,500 annual charge. Positive, Johnson’s program is much more costly, however keep in mind, there’s solely three spots! And if you happen to’re nonetheless not able to shell out seven figures, nicely, you possibly can entry a obscure “supported tier” for $60,000.

There’s nothing incorrect with eager to reside an extended, more healthy life, however longevity influencers like Johnson take this to an excessive that’s unattainable and (widespread sense would say) completely pointless for the typical particular person.

In his protection, Johnson isn’t making an attempt to proselytize us all into taking 100 tablets a day and subsisting largely on boiled greens. However he’s additionally not depriving us of the possibility to make him richer in alternate for his “secrets and techniques.”